The First Day of the Rest of My Life

In January of 2011 I happened to be working at the grocery store. It was a cold winter Sunday evening and we had few customers. I had lived in the town for several years and being near graduation I knew most of the people in town that were around my age. But when the young man turned by the impulse stands with his parents, I did not recognize his face.

I tried for a few heartbeats to get a better look at his face. I had a difficult time because I didn’t have glasses and he was wearing a hat.

I proceeded with my bagging of their groceries, making small talk with his father. His mother and him hung back a bit and as they came into full view of me I noticed that this young man wore a hat with the Cerberus symbol on it and a jacket with the N7 stripe on the right arm.


I grinned to myself in recognition. Taking a bold step I asked, “Mass Effect?”

His face lit up like Fourth of July and asked me if I knew what it was. I giggled, of course I knew what it was.

We spoke for mere moments before I mentioned his parents were about to leave him behind. I had watched his mother usher his father away, clearly unaware that his son was being hit on, even if only slightly.

I thought nothing of the conversation until a little later the cashier called my name. I turned to see the young man standing by our cart stand. Worried that I had made an error I approached and asked if everything was alright. He informed me that everything was fine but that he wanted to talk.

We talked for what felt like forever and for what had to have been only fifteen minutes. The entire time I was worried that I had snot crusties in my nose from the cold. What if there was something in my teeth?  If there was anything askew he didn’t seem to notice.

We talked at length about Mass Effect and other video games we shared an interest. He was cute AND nice.

By the end of our conversation he had asked me for my Gamertag, of which I gave to him. I did inform him that I did not sign in as often as I once had and that it was a poor form of communication. He didn’t seem worried.

That evening I went home and got online for the first time in several months. I found his Gamertag and added him.

And then I realized something…

I didn’t know his name.

It really wasn’t fair because he could cheat; I wore a name tag.

The next day when I signed in I had a message from him. He was surprised but happy that I had added him so quickly. He clearly didn’t understand my bad habit of losing small papers.

A few days passed before I asked him to add me on Facebook, a social platform that I frequented more often. He obliged.

His name was Shelby Steiner and that was the day we met. The first day I laid eyes on my future, my best friend, and my husband. It will forever be one of my favorite days.



The Married Life

Marriage is like participating in a wild game of middle school dodgeball.

For those of you who are married or have been married for some time will understand my reference.

Picture an intense game of dodgeball.

You may be asking yourself, “Why dodgeball?” or “What would you dodge in marriage?”


It isn’t all Disney fairytales people… more like the Grimm fairytales.

In the past year I have seen several of my friends and acquaintances go through either a separation (which ended in divorce) or divorce.

I know, I know you are thinking about that stupid statistic that says that basically half of the people who get married are going to get divorced. Don’t be a statistic.

Do you know how many of those friends and acquaintances went to marriage counseling (counseling in general) or did counseling before tying the knot?


Why would you agree to a commitment (cuz that is what marriage is ladies and gentleman) and not go to some form of counseling?

Moving on.

I recently read a blog by Gamer’s Wifey (read it here)  and it was over marriage and gaming… She states that her research came back that there were 3 million Google hits for “video games and divorce.” And that’s just the nerds.

So what about everyone else?

The world, life, society, etc. wants to see us fail. Plain and simple. We get jealous of what other’s have and we WANT it. (Gollum and The One Ring, anyone?).

Over the years of my relationship, and marriage to my husband, we have heard countless times, “We really look up to you guys” or “You guys are an inspiration for our relationship (marriage).”

Do you think I am a witch and performed some kind of magical spell? (Only in my Dungeons and Dragons world). Or do you think that our life together is all Unicorns and fairy dust? Just because I don’t post, “Shelby is the biggest butt-face in the whole world” all over Facebook doesn’t mean that we don’t argue or fight. What couple DOESN’T argue or fight?

The point is, is that no one is perfect. Don’t envy someone for what they have because it is what you want. Go out there and BE the person you want to find. Being in a relationship or being married is like dodgeball because everyone is throwing stuff at you all the time, trying to knock you out of the game. Don’t let them.


Don’t let other’s discourage you from being happy.

And if you can’t find out what is wrong then please seek some counseling.

Find a minister or pastor or whatever if you are religious or go see someone with a degree in Psychology and Counseling. Just go do SOMETHING.

ANYTHING is worth more than throwing it all away.