Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary defines Social Media as: “Forms of electronic communication (such as websites for social networking and microblogging) through which users create online communities to share information, ideas, personal messages, and other content (such as videos).”
At least once in their lives.
Keeping up online has never been harder.
People think having anxiety means you should be in a mental institution or heavily medicated. However, there are many people that walk Earth, that have anxiety, and handle their day-to-day lives rather well.
Or is it Dungeons and Dragons?
I know this topic did not make it to my prior list, but I don’t feel like writing about those things and I need to keep up with my promise that I already broke. Don’t get mad, I get distracted easily.
Now, wanna talk about some nerdy stuff? Me too.
I figure a post like this is welcome amidst all the political hate that is showing up all over social media. That’s the last you’ll hear about anything political from me until at least next month. Eh, wait…
Anyway, Dragons and Dungeons.
It has been well over a year from the moment that I first stepped foot into my first session/campaign of D&D. It has been over a year since we decided to form a group and really put our nerd hats on.
My husband touched on the touchy subject not too long ago, you can read it here, on our unfortunate circumstances that have befallen our group.
Let me be honest, sometimes I am not the easiest person to get along with. Now, that’s not to say that I am incapable of getting along with people, I just have loud opinions that people don’t like to hear. I am what you call a devil’s advocate and from what I understand, no one likes that person. Oh well, go cry in the corner.
So, our group has taken a turn for the worse. I saw it coming from a mile away, but it seems that others are a little surprised by its sudden decrease in fun-ness (not a word). I must admit that the decrease in the motivation I have to go every Sunday has been worsening bit-by-bit.
By saying that the group has taken a turn for the worse, what I mean is that we don’t get along anymore; if we ever really did. Our group consists of six people and the DM, which is a fairly large group of beginners. Three of the members have known each other for a long time (two are engaged, the other was a roommate of theirs) and so often it seems like whatever they want to do outweighs whatever the husband and I want to do. That’s only one of the issues. The roommate and I don’t get along the most out of the seven people who take up space in the small room that we play in. The issues comprise of things he has done and his inability to be an actual good teammate.
The main point is that a group that has been established for well over a year is deteriorating. You know all the stuff people say about relationships? Those apply to large groups as well. In the second week of my communication class that I mentioned before, we learned about group development. What I learned changed the way I see our weekly D&D group, so much so that it may not continue to be a group because we are lacking one vital piece of group development.
Allow me to explain what the stages are. 1) Forming (that’s where ya’ll meet and exchange names that you’ll forget in .25 seconds), 2) Storming (that’s where a lot of the conflict happens. Stuff like telling someone you think their idea is rubbish), 3) Norming (this is where the group is actually putting aside the conflict and getting down to business), 4) Performing (this is where the group actually completes their goal).
The alternative is what is called Group Think. It strays away from any type of conflict and takes the easiest path to get to the finished product. Basically, Group Think is for chickens with thin skin (unless it is baked chicken skin that is covered in garlic, then that is pretty tasty… I mean, what?).
Why did I just tell you something I learned in college? Because, we are a group and there is something we are missing.
We never stormed. We have never figured out how to handle conflict within our group, we do not handle the idea that someone else has a different opinion than our own. Yikes.
And this is why I don’t think I can continue. Not that I am incapable of forming a group and being part of a group, but because we can’t have conflict and resolve it. I am the devil’s advocate, remember? That means I am conflict 85% of the time. How can you have someone like me in your group without knowing how to solve conflict?
I’m not giving up, I am getting rid of something that adds an immeasurable amount of stress to my already stressed life.
What do you think? Am I being unreasonable? Do you agree with me? I’ll listen… Maybe.
4 years. 208 weeks. 1460 days.
That’s how long I have been married to my husband.
On October 20, 2012 at 6:00 p.m. I married my husband, my best friend, my life partner.
We had spent the entire day alone (bad idea) until the moment I walked down the aisle to my smiling soon-to-be-spouse.
Despite what everyone seems to think, the wedding day wasn’t the best part of our marriage, it has been every single day after that day.
In the past four years I have had the best four years of my life because of one person, my husband.
Without that man beside me every single day for the past four years, I would not have experienced two cruises, my silly Corgi, my true passion (writing), and that every day can be a lot better because of one person.
The wedding day didn’t celebrate my marriage to him, it didn’t set the standard for what we would expect for the rest of our lives, all the days following have done that.
Without him I would not be who I am today.
When people ask me how I have managed to have a wonderful marriage I also respond with, “I married my best friend.”
Is it the most perfect marriage? Do I sometimes want to smack him with a skillet? Do I want to have my own space sometimes? Do we fight?
Absolutely. But nothing makes me want to quit. Nothing would ever be worth saying goodbye to him. Nothing would make it okay for me to go to bed and wake up the next day without him next to me. He has become my constant of everyday, he has become my sanctuary, he has become the reason I wake up every single morning.
No one said marriage is easy (because they would be damn crazy if they did) but, if you find the person who fits you best, it will be life changing.
Find the person who will change your life for the better. Find someone who makes you smile just by looking at them. Find someone you want to fall asleep next to for the rest of your life. Once you find that person everything else will be easy (somewhat).
Happy Anniversary, my love.
Yes, there is.
My husband and I moved from my hometown almost a year and a half ago so that we could live with his parents (not as bad as you would think) and finish our degrees.
We got stuck in a loop in my hometown where we had good jobs (both store managers in retail), a rent house, and vehicles. Life was easy, it was comfortable.
Moving here has not been easy nor comfortable. I spent three months in what I can only describe as shock. I had never lived so far from my family, my friends, and my comfort zone. Everything I had ever experienced could not prepare me for those first three months. Eventually I accepted my new life.
However, life did not get easy or comfortable. It is simple to say that this past year and a half has been the most trying time of both my marriage and my adult life. Let me be the first to tell you that adulting really sucks sometimes.
We have struggled with our finances, with me not having a vehicle, our sanity since we aren’t alone, with going to school and balancing jobs on top of that. Life would be so much simpler if we could just go to school and not worry about holding down a job. These kids who go to school with no financial worries have no idea how good they have it. Seriously, you better love your mom and dad immensely.
After all of the struggle we have been through I can finally see the end of it.
Friday I spoke with my adviser and he informed me that I only need ten more hours to graduate. He enrolled me in the necessary courses. Not only am I at the end of my college experience but he also has helped me fix my resume. I can see the light so much clearer now.
In seven months I will purchase my first vehicle, right at eight months I will be graduating from college, and in some point in between that time I will be interviewing and getting my first out-of-college job.
The end is here and it isn’t the end of the world. I can get my sanity back, my comfort zone, and the easy life.
The struggles will continue for the next eight months but I am much happier taking on eight months rather than another year and a half.
I am ready to go out and live my life with my husband again.
Bring. It. On.