Six Years of Marriage

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It’s been another year.

365 days have passed since the last time we were here, saying Happy Anniversary.

525600 minutes since the last time we celebrated this day.

This day that marks the day we said “I do.”

This day since we said our vows and promised forever.

One whole year.

Marriage

Engagement

If you’ve read my past posts, you’ll come across one that I wrote detailing how my husband and I met. In short, it was at a grocery store and a conversation about Mass Effect ensued.

We’ve been married now for six years. That’s what happens when time passes and you’re living your life day-to-day.

It is crazy to me that it has been six years, that this year is 2018, and that I am now 26 years old.

Where the hell did all that time go?

It rushes past us without us barely even noticing.

Pictures allow us to travel back in time and relive moments. Pictures and memories are all that we have to cling to our past and the time that has passed.

But the day-to-day is just as important as those pictures and major memories that we hold on to.

On a typical day, we wake up at six in the morning, we shower, we get ready for work, we feed and take out the pets, and we leave for work. Once our shifts are over, we come home, make dinner, play video games or read, and go to sleep.

Rinse and repeat.

We do not go on exciting adventures. We do not have children. We do not live lives of luxury.

We simply are.

Yet, so many don’t make it this far.

Marriages crumble before they ever mold together.

That is why we receive this question so frequently:

What do you guys do to make it work?

People seem to think that I’ve cast some sort of magical enchantment to get my husband to help me around the house or laugh at my stupid jokes. They would rather believe in hocus pocus than the power of marrying your best friend.

What DO we do?

Date Night

I am the youngest of six children. I have grown up in a broken home and did not have a solid couple as role models for what marriage should look like.

Yet, I knew what kind of husband I wanted: I wanted him to be my best friend.

So when I met my husband and we got to know one another over a couple of months, I thought I was really close.

After a few months of dating, I realized that I had met my best friend.

In that moment, I knew what I had. I had found the one whom I wanted to keep by my side for the rest of my life.

Gross, right?

Not at all. When it comes to building a relationship, it is important to think about what is going to keep that relationship going.

Obviously love can fade. Children can cause marital problems. Shit happens.

So what keeps a marriage together?

Friendship.

Being with someone that you can laugh with, share everything with, and have a connection to regardless of what happens in your day-to-day lives.

Simply being there for the other person through every step, every stone, every boulder that life throws at you.

Supporting them, caring for them, empowering them, and being there for them.

Being selfless when it comes to the well being of the person you share your life with.

Why doesn’t that work all the time?

Pictures

Because our innate nature is to be selfish. To care more for us, our well being, our self worth, our little minds – so much that we can’t look to caring for anyone besides our own self.

That, my friends, is true love.

To give of yourself for someone else without expecting anything in return.

Selfless.

That’s how we do it.

And that’s how we will do it for the rest of our lives.

Anniversary

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So Happy Anniversary, my love.

Here’s to six more years and six more years after that and after that and after that…

May my enchantment be one that holds your forever.

Weddings- The numbers behind the dress

We just got done with the busiest month for weddings. That’s right, the majority of weddings take place in the month of June. I wish I could tell you why (I assume it is because summer is the best time for vacations), because I personally didn’t want to be stuck in a wedding dress in the blazing heat.

According to the Huffington Post, the wedding industry in the U.S. is at $55 Billion… WOW. The global industry is at $300 Billion. Is that not crazy? We contribute to this insane industry by buying wedding dresses that cost more than what I make in half a year, rings that cost a good car down payment, and venues that you have to pay on for twenty years (exaggerations people).

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And then there are the rules on who is supposed to pay for all of it. How do you decide? Certainly times have changed on who pays for what or who does what, but the “rules” are still pretty much the same. The Knot has a list of who pays for what on their website. It lines out simple “rules” for the wedding planning. They even state that many weddings today will be funded by the bride and groom themselves, and which many are, however dictating where the money comes and goes can be difficult.

But why bother in the first place? Because we want the day to be special for your guests and family. But do you really think they care?

The average U.S. wedding costs $26,645. AVERAGE. My husband and I will spend less than that just to finish college. Is there not something else to spend that money on? It is for ONE day that many brides and grooms don’t even remember because of the o
pen bar. scoIlP6

Go ahead and tell me that I am being judgmental, that’s fine you’re not alone, but while you’re busy judging me for judging stop and think about what I am really trying to say.

We hype up weddings to be these glorious days filled with love, wonder, and to be like fairy tales, but is it really? A wedding says nothing about the couple or how their marriage will be except that they know how to throw a really good party.

I had a wedding, and honestly I would change quit a bit if I could go back.

A wedding is meant to be about the family and closest of friends to help celebrate the couple in the union and promise to love one another for the rest of their lives.

I believe that far too many weddings are put in place just to please the guests and be a form of entertainment. People party at weddings and get sloshed. If you are out to have a wedding like this than you are basically throwing a giant drunken party where your guests are going to need a designated driver just to get home. Is that how you really want your first memory of a married woman or man to be? I don’t.

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We spend too much money on weddings and have ridiculous expectations for the outcome of the wedding. What happened to the traditional marriages? What happened to simplicity? Having a simple wedding can be just as beautiful and more intimate than a giant wedding with guests you’ve never met until that moment. Understand?

One of the first words of “advice” (as seen by the person) was to just go to the courthouse or elope… Yeah, that is also an option for brides and grooms but is that what you want? Some people find comfort in eloping because that means they get to go somewhere else and get married with no one else but witnesses there. Intimate and simple. I am not condoning eloping as it can be a bad choice to make in regards to the type of family you have, but it is an option for those on a budget and who want to have a more intimate wedding. funny-wedding-planning-memes004

Wedding doesn’t have to mean go big or go home. It doesn’t mean you need to entertain your guests from the moment they arrive until the moment they leave. It isn’t their party, it is yours. It is your day to enjoy, to remember, to look back on with fond memories…

Why contaminate that memory?

With all of this said I want to point out that I am not trying to sway anyone to go either way but to really stop and think about their wedding choices and how they start the very first moment they say “I do.” Really look into how you want the whole ordeal to go.

We went to a spring wedding out in the country where they had the ceremony outside and the reception inside a barn. The food was small pies, coffee, and lemonade…. Can you say easy? And we were very satisfied with that as guests. They had a little girl going around taking pictures with a modern Polaroid camera and it was entertaining for us to see her running around and even nice to get our own. There wasn’t some extravagant DJ or live band, booze, or any sort of raucous. It was simple and intimate.

If you take your time you can make your wedding day very special without having to go all out on expensive stuff or trying to entertain your guests the entire time. Again, it isn’t about them, it is about you and your soon-to-be spouse. Make sure your wedding is special enough to highlight that and not get lost on everything else.

Have a wedding, not a party.